Mama told me when I was young. Come sit beside me, my only son and listen closely to what I say. And if you do this it will help you some sunny day. Take your time... Don't live too fast, troubles will some and they will pass. Go find a woman and you'll find love, and don't forget son, there is someone up above. And be a simple kind of man. be something you love and understand. Be a simple kind of man. Won't you do this for me son, if you can?Forget your lust for the rich man's gold, all that you need is in your soul, and you can do this if you try. All that I want for you my son, is to be satisfied. And be a simple kind of man. be something you love and understand. Be a simple kind of man. Won't you do this for me son, if you can? Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself. Follow you heart and nothing else. And you can do this if you try. All I want for you my son, is to be satisfied. And be a simple kind of man. be something you love and understand. Be a simple kind of man. Won't you do this for me son, if you can?

So yeah I haven't been here in awhile... I have had lots of fun being gone. I cant remember when it all started going down hill but I certainly wont ever forget why. A week back I was at home and miserable so I decided to go to my fathers to chill. Well when I got there, thats when everything went to hell. I started getting a headache and then well lets just say my father was a asshole. I got home on monday and still had this headache. Tuesday is when it got worse... my dad had just dropped my brother off from soocer practice and I was feeling miserable so my dad started talking about his "tapping" again. (Tapping is an ancient chinese acupressure). And well I started getting more pissed of cause my dad said when he started therapy that he wouldnt push it on me. And him this and he told me this. "Fine Chris I wont bring it up again, because you see I dont care if you are happy, I dont care if you are sad, I dont care about you." Then the little rat scuried to his van and started screaming and such. (poor neighbours). And I was quite pissed off because my father just told me that he didnt care about me. And one would ask. Why dont you just get the tapping done? To that I would reply, I am an escapist, I like to take things that make me feel better and use them to make me feel better without dealing with my problems. That defeats the purpose of the tapping. And thats how my father uses it. He feels bad he taps, and drinks. He isnt getting better he is getting worse and the worst part is that he thinks he is getting better. So I choose to not tap and my father no longer cares for me. But it didnt hit that hard cause my dad has done this to me before and I just dont care anymore. Ironic isnt it? He tells me that he doesnt care about me to hurt me and I dont care. Well I think its funny. And the rest of the week I have had this killer headache and its not getting any better and I just wanna shoot my fucking head off. Friday was at least fun as I hung out with Derrick (gay buddy) and had a few drinks (I GOT TIPSY! WOOT LOL) and just got to realax and not think about anything. Not the right frame of mind but it nice to be like that once in awhile. And now I am at home feeling really miserable and lonely. FUCK ME!! Damn well I guess that is what has been happening lately to me.

Peace

Chris